Transitions Require Time
In a coaching conversation yesterday I shared an a’ha that I had earlier in the day. It was about expectations and time.
Annie and I partnered up six weeks ago. She moved from a small quiet farm where she lived with two other horses to a larger farm, just outside of Winnipeg, close to the #1 highway with over 20 other horses on the property. There are multiple pens. The barn is bigger. There is an indoor riding arena. There are more people around taking care of and riding horses. And I was new to her.
Annie has a very active brain, and is very attuned to the noises and sights around her. There is a lot of stimuli that she needs to get used too.
As she was introduced to her new pen, she had to figure out how she fit in, her turn when it came to feeding time and the personalities of the other horses in her herd.
I noticed that her breathing would change as we walked from the pen to the barn and from the barn into the arena. My goal was to be confident in my actions and reassure her in her new spaces. She picks up on my energy so how I show up influences her. And by the way, I am learning about caring for and partnering with a horse at the same time that she is experiencing all of this change. So to say that my energy is always a confident energy would not be accurate.
Over the past week, I have noticed her becoming more at ease in her new surroundings. She is starting to figure out her place in the herd, what the barn and the arena are all about, and me. I think it is fair to say that while I have much more to learn, my confidence is increasing as well.
It has only been 6 weeks. I tend to set high expectations and was frustrated at times that Annie was not transitioning as quickly as I wanted her too. As I reflected, I realized that she has been transitioning just fine. I reminded myself to honour the time that she needs. And I gave myself permission to honour the time that I need.
While I have lead and walked alongside many others during periods of extensive change, this was a poignant reminder for me that while we can do things to help ourselves and others through a period of transition, when it comes down to it, transitions require time.
I offer you this. If you are experiencing a transition, take some time in your Red Chair to consider how you are leading yourself through it. What are your expectations for yourself and others? Are you able to honour the time that you and others need? What might you do to better lead yourself and others? And lastly, remember to celebrate the positive steps forward.